Tears in Heaven
by Twilight's-Mystery
Summary: Yet another angsty piece of work by the ever famous (not!) angst insane author, Ms. prongs. lol..R/R PLZZZZ the favor will be returned!


Tears in Heaven  
  
By: Ms. Prongs  
  
Disclaimer: You recognize it, I don't own it. so there :P  
  
Authors Notes: It's a quicky, this is something I wrote last night (1/24/01) at about 11 PM. It's a short ficcy about a 6 year old Harry on Halloween night.   
**  
The darkness of the cupboard was frightening at night, and especially Halloween night for some reason. It was like little Harry was surrounded by 'Real' spirits this night instead of the fake ones that everybody joked and laughed about.   
  
He'd awoken at midnight by a bad dream, his usual one that involved a flash of green light and crying, suddenly he wished with all his heart that he had somebody to comfort him on times like these. He dearly wished that his mom and dad were there for him, but they weren't. They had died in a car crash when he was a baby.   
  
Sitting up in his bed he closed his eyes and ried to remember the dream he once had about a beautiful lady with long amber red hair and sparkling emerald eyes, and a handsom man with the same hair as him, black and a moptop.   
  
Something kept tugging at him, to remember something about these two people it must be important because everytime he has the nightmare he remembers them. Suddenly he was sad again, the need to cry strong in his 6 year old chest.   
  
After a bit of contemplation and supressed tears he settled back and said his usual prayer, the one Mrs. Figg had taught him when he was 4.   
  
"Now I lay me down to sleep,   
I pray the lord my soul to keep,  
guide and guard me through the night,   
and wake me with the mornings light..amen."   
  
After that he closed his eyes which suspiciously resembled those of the lady from his dream. Maybe someday he'd ask Aunt Petunia about them (Or maybe not..)  
  
~~~~~  
Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven?  
Would it be the same if I saw you in heaven?  
I must be strong and carry on,  
'Cause I know I don't belong  
here in heaven.  
~~~~~  
But he could not sleep, he kept having the urge to cry...so he sat up, head in his lap thinking about his parents again, wondering if maybe they'd recognize him if they saw him up in heaven, or if they'd really even care.   
  
"Maybe they'll call me 'love' or 'son'..or Harry.. maybe they'll love me like that brown haired lady did when I was a baby.. maybe they'll know me..if only I could be a good boy, not making any wierd things happen..I got to be strong for mummy.." it was enough (those thoughts) to make him cough back tears.  
  
~~~~~  
Would you hold my hand if I saw you in heaven?  
Would you help me stand if I saw you in heaven?  
I'll find my way through night and day,  
'Cause I know I just can't stay  
here in heaven.  
~~~~~  
"But, I'll never make it to heaven...not if I'm such a bad boy like Aunt Petunia says, making all the wierd stuff happen.." he said to nobody glumly.  
  
If only he could make it till the day he met his parents..if only.   
  
Sometimes at night he'd get glimpses of his past, in a flash he'd see his mother, but could never make out her face..he could feel her warm embrace, but everytime he was close enough to seeing them, to hugging them he'd be jarred to reality by his Aunt or Uncle..   
  
Nobody could know how strong the urge was to know somebody loved him.. But that was just that, a wish, a hope..  
'Maybe they'd hug me and kiss me..' he thought sadly.  
  
~~~~~  
Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees.  
Time can break your heart, have you begging please,  
begging please.  
~~~~~  
"I wonder what they look like.." he thought aloud. "I wonder if they'd hug me..if I fell would they help me up?"   
  
It was a strange thought that ran though his head at nights, but those feelings were strongest October 31st....like something important happened this night, but he couldn't remember..he just could not remember..  
  
He'd gone so long without anybody to talk to, the kids in his class, they were afraid of him, some looked like they wanted to talk, but didn't. Everybody knows not to talk to the black haired freak.   
  
Sometimes he would climb up a tree during recess, and just sit and watch the others play on the swings or slide, and sadly try to forget the pain he felt at watching them all be happy, that is when he wasn't hiding from Dudley, or introuble for turning his nursery school teachers hair gold.   
  
He was near the breaking point in his childhood life when he wanted to runaway. Runaway and just leave behind everything bad, scary, mean, or painful for him to a better place, where people liked him.  
  
"Please God, just let me live through my life." he would pray sometimes when he knew nothing else to say.  
  
Sometimes in his dreams he was being held by his parents, and...when he woke up he'd mutter. "I love you" before realizing where he was and mumbling softly 'never' to himself.   
  
He wasn't allowed to be happy, and his aunt and uncle made sure of it. He was made to go through the days chores, and he would...especially if he wanted to live to see his next birthday.  
  
Sometimes when he was up in trees at school, or in his cupboard at home, or out in the garden, he could swear he saw somebody watching him..he wasn't too sure what to make of it, because he only saw it just out of the corner of his little emerald eyes, or from the reflection of his glasses, but he could never really catch a real glimpse..maybe it was his guardian angle watching him.  
  
~~~~~  
Beyond the door there's peace I'm sure,  
And I know there'll be no more  
tears in heaven.  
~~~~~  
  
If only he could find the doorway to a magical world, or to heaven, he'd be happy, loved..there'd be no more pain. He'd be in peace.  
  
Maybe someday if he kept wishing and being on his best behavior he'd be granted the wish that he'd been wishing for since he was 3 and could say full sentences. To be loved..but for some reason, as each year progressed the dreams of both the green light, and the people intensified, the feelings modified, the pain built up as did the anger and sorrow.  
  
He wanted so dearly to leave this place, he knew at 6 that running away was something only bad kids did.. but still, to go to ta world..a world where he was appreciated, where people liked him...waht he would give to be there.  
  
He knew..just knew that away from this house, something was waiting for him..what it was, was probably always to be a mystery.  
  
His skin tingled with this thought and his eyes darted around him the dark as if searching for something only those eyes, thouse unusually green eyes, could see...maybe the door to heaven..because he belonged there with his parents, not here.. he wanted that dearly to be true..  
  
Someday..somewhere he'd find peace, he had to, he wasn't bad, just different, and someday he'd be able to see his parents in heaven..and they'd love him.. Like nobody else did. So he'd just have to wait..and he would for that day to come..because he didn't belong in heaven. Right yet anyways..  
  
~~~~~  
Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven?  
Would you be the same if I saw you in heaven?  
I must be strong and carry on,  
'Cause I know I don't belong  
here in heaven.  
~~~~~  
  
~*~  
Awww...yeah well...*coughs*...er? Eric Claptions "Tears in Heaven" Is NOT mine.. I wonder what his life at 6 really was like *smiles sadly*  
  
Anyways..er, yeah.. *coughs again* Hope you liked it. Sorry if I didn't do the song much justice, I just never could stand listening to the song without crying, and when I heard it last night the urge to write was so intense I just had to write..  
  
Ms. Prongs  
@};---- 


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